last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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