Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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