it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
