The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
