the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
