I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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