lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize