We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
