i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
