I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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