the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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