Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
