You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
