dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
