In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You smell like a Billy Joel song
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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