Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens

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(917): View more from New York City

yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.

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(970): View more from Colorado

If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it

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(773): View more from Illinois

i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck

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(310): View more from California

I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?

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(907): View more from Alaska

started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.

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(561): View more from Florida

She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend

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