I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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