you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
