Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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