i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
