we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
