Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
