I seem to have left my pride at pride
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
