just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
