Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
