Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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