Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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