do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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