just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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