When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
