I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
