Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
