Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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