plz talk dirty to me
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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