That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
