Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He better not be in your backpack
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
