"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize