I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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