I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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