well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The beer is more important than you right now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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