ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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