that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
