she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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