my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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