I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
