Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
