Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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