maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
