you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
