At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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