You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
