You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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