Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize