did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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