I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
