I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
