help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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