Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
