so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
