I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
