he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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