I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
