Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
