That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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