Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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