I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
