You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
