If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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